The ultimate guide on how to think before you speak

Speaking is one of the most common forms of expression humans use in their daily life. Your words represent you, and using the right words in your daily conversations is a great talent to master.

Using the right words every time however requires that you learn to think before you speak.

It’s fairly simple to think before you speak. All you need to do is practice taking your time before saying a single word, keep your calm during conversations, prepare for your answers and/or use silence to your favor.

Here are some tips on how to make your conversations better, or to be precise, how to think before you speak.

Keep your calm in all conversations

If you are not feeling extremely calm during a conversation that you have, then you’re blocking the full potential of your brain during the conversation.

Think about public speaking, stand up comedy, or job interviews. If you are feeling anxious on the stage when you’re talking to an audience, there is no way you will be able to think before you say anything.

Anxiety will take control over you and you have to be lucky to survive the rest of your speech or performance.

The same is true with the interview example. If you’re not feeling comfortable during an interview for a job that you really want, then the odds are not going to be in your favour.

Think of it this way. When you’re practicing for an interview at home, you answer some questions that might be asked to you flawlessly. However you may not be able to do that during the actual interview.

What’s the difference between the 2 scenarios? It’s your anxiety. If you could manage to keep your calm during the interview, you’ll find yourself able to use your full brain potential, think before saying a single word and talk flawlessly just the way you practiced.

Here are more info about anxiety and how to get rid of it.

It’s not only anxiety that is capable of blocking you from thinking before you talk. Anger, fear, excitement, frustration and many other feelings can lead you to not thinking about what you are going to say next and you need to learn how to control that.

So the first step to learn how to think before you speak is to make sure you control your emotions and stay calm during every conversation that you have with anyone.

How do you do that? By training yourself to take your time to answer.

Take a few seconds before you speak

It’s alright if you take your time to answer questions. You don’t have to rush things up. If you don’t answer or say things extremely fast, it doesn’t mean that you don’t know how to respond, it means that you’re taking time to make sure you can deliver the best response possible.

If I ask someone a question, I would rather wait a few seconds to get a good answer instead of getting an average answer immediately.

So feel free to take all the time you want before you answer anything. Or in other words, do not priorities the response speed over the response quality.

Do not reply at all when you don’t know what to say.

Let’s say you have been put on the spot, and you didn’t really have enough time to think about the words that you are supposed to say next.

What should you do in this case? Well, you shouldn’t say anything at all.

You can just let the person asking you a question that you just don’t want to answer right now or that you need time to think about what you should say.

That’s far better than throwing an answer without thinking about it. 

Throwing words without any second of thought can cause you a lot of troubles and I believe you already know that.

You might give people promises that you might not be able to keep, you might insult some people unintentionally and reach a point where you can’t fix it, you might say stupid things that will backfire on you later.

So to summarize things.

Make sure that you always train yourself to pause before you say any word, think about a proper answer that will work best for you, and then go ahead and communicate your message after a few seconds of deep thoughts.

Thank you for reading this far, have a nice day.