why surprise visits are rude

3 reasons why surprise visits are rude and how to avoid them

Spending time with people has always been a huge part of our lives. After all, we are social creatures and communicating face to face with people every now and then is a must.

However, sometimes people might not be in a mood to talk or are just not ready to meet someone else as they have things to do. The best thing that you can do here is to never force yourself on them, in other words, do not surprise them with an unannounced visit.

Surprise visits are rude most of the time. You need to always make sure that you contact the people who you want to visit instead of appearing on their front door unannounced. While sometimes you might get away with a surprise visit, other times you may feel unwelcomed.

Here are some more elaborated reasons why surprise visits can be rude.

1 – They show no respect for the host’s time

If your friend or your family member is sitting at their home,it does not mean that they have nothing to do.

They might be working from their home, cleaning their rooms, or simply taking a small nap and wishing that no one interrupts them.

If you pay them a surprise visit without telling them first, it means that you’re assuming they aren’t doing anything important and they have time for you. This might not always be the case.

So in order to avoid any problems, you need to make sure to ask people if you’re welcomed at their house instead of surprising them with a visit.

2 – Your friend might not be ready for the visit

When someone is sitting at their home, it means that they are most probably not in a perfect shape to meet other people.

Home is the place where you feel the most comfortable. If your friends are sitting in their homes, then might just not be in a perfect shape to meet guests, or they may be working on things that they prefer to keep private.

Appearing on someone’s front door as a surprise might cause them to panic as they are not ready at all to welcome people. They won’t have time to change their outfits if they need to, they won’t have enough time to hide the things that they might be working on if they need to and so on.

They could also be sleeping, studying, having an online business meeting, taking a bath, in the middle of a video game that they can’t pause, and so on. The possibilities of them not being ready to welcome a surprise guest are endless. 

That’s why it’s a good idea to let them know you’re coming.

3 – You might feel unwelcome which can ruin your relationship with them.

Your friends may not be willing to welcome any guests at certain moments. Introverted people for example may want to spend a little bit of time alone and not be around a lot of people.

This means that if you surprise one of your friends with a visit, then there is a chance that you do not feel welcomed by them. 

This may lead to problems in your relationship with them later as feeling unwelcomed by your friends can cause you to rethink your friendship with them.

To avoid all this trouble, it’s better for you and the person that you want to visit if you choose not to surprise them with a visit.

What if the surprise visit is out of your choice?

Let’s say that you can’t tell your friends that you are going to their house for some reason, what should you do in this case?

If there’s an emergency and you need to visit someone without having the time to let them know beforehand, then go ahead and pay them a surprise visit without any worries.

If it’s an emergency, then they will most probably not judge you for your sudden visit as they already know that you didn’t have another choice.

Another scenario might be that you want to surprise your friend for their birthday anniversary at their house.

If you’re planning to surprise them, then you can’t let them know that you’re coming, or else it won’t  be a surprise anymore.

What you can do in this scenario is make sure to tell a person living with them that you’re planning to surprise your friend with a birthday party. 

That way, your friend’s housemate will make sure that your friend will be ready by making up any excuse for them to be ready for visitors.

Now let’s look at the other side of the coin. There will come a time when some of your friends or family pay you a surprise visit, what you should do in this case?

1 – Always keep at least one room ready to accept guests

If you’re afraid that your house is too messed up to accept sudden visits by friends and family members, one thing you can do is to keep one of your rooms always ready to welcome any surprise guests.

That way, you can ask the visitor to wait in that room while you take more time to get ready for their sudden visit to your house.

2 – Let your visitors know that it wasn’t a good time

Letting your visitors know that it would have been better if they had let you know that they’re coming might help.

They’ll learn that they need to contact you before instead of surprising you with a visit.

3 – Do not answer the door

If you are not in a good mood and you just don’t want to welcome anyone, one thing you can do here is to not answer the door.

It’s totally fine if you don’t answer the door in some cases. If someone calls you on the phone and you’re not ready to take their call, you can just ignore their call and maybe call them back later.

Same concept applies here. You’re not ready for someone’s visit? Then don’t answer their knocks on the door if you didn’t know they were coming.

4 – Leave a sign in front of the door stating that you’re currently busy.

You can always leave a note on your door stating that you’re not ready for anyone’s visit and that you have work to do.

This way, it will be less awkward for you and for them if you don’t answer the door when they still choose to knock.

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